There was a time in my life when I would go to bed overthinking and over-stressing about things that, in the grand scheme of life, didn’t matter as much as I thought they did. The result? Sleep insomnia that drained my energy and left me struggling to start each day.
It’s ironic how much we take for granted. We get so caught up in our heads—planning and strategizing for the next day, month, or even year. Don’t get me wrong—planning is necessary; it gives us direction. But how often do we go to bed assuming we’ll wake up the next day? How often do we hold onto the illusion of certainty that tomorrow is promised?
If you’ve read this far, you may feel a twinge of discomfort. And that’s okay. Some might even feel like clicking “unsubscribe” because this is uncomfortable to confront. But for those who understand that discomfort is part of the healing journey, I invite you to stay with me as I introduce this week’s theme: navigating grief and loss.
A Moment That Changed My Perspective
Not so long ago, I was scrolling through LinkedIn when I stumbled upon what I initially thought was fake news. A dear connection from across the world had passed away. I couldn’t believe it. Just a day before, he had been posting about his cybersecurity efforts. And suddenly, I was reading tributes to his life and work.
The news hit me hard. It was a stark reminder to never take anything for granted—to cherish the time we have with our loved ones and the life we are privileged to live.
But there’s another side to grief we rarely discuss: the silent suffering that follows loss. This pain often becomes invisible as life pushes us to “move on” and resume our daily routines.
The Silent Struggles of Moving Forward
I’ll never forget the month after my father passed away. When I returned to work, my former boss came to check in on me. With all the good intentions in the world, he tapped me on the back and offered his condolences. Then he said:
“But you’re okay now, right?”
No, I wasn’t okay. And truthfully, I would never be the same.
Grief doesn’t operate on a timeline. It doesn’t disappear after a few weeks, months, or even years. It ebbs and flows, like waves in the ocean. Over time, the space between the waves grows, but when they hit, the pain is just as overwhelming as the first crash.
We don’t “move on” from loss—we move forward with it. Whether it’s the death of a loved one or the loss of a chapter in our lives, grief stays with us, reshaping who we are and how we see the world.
This Week’s Theme: Moving Forward After Loss
This week, I want to help you navigate your grief—whether you’re mourning a loved one, coping with a life-altering change, or silently carrying a loss that feels invisible to others. Together, we’ll explore how to:
- Understand and honor your emotions without judgment.
- Create space for healing, even when life demands you keep going.
- Learn to move forward, not by forgetting, but by integrating your grief into a new version of yourself.
Grief is a deeply human experience. It’s messy, unpredictable, and uniquely yours. But it’s also a journey we can walk together. Just as I’ve learned to move forward in my life, I hope this week’s reflections help you take steps toward healing.
Let’s make space for your grief—and for your growth.
Embracing Grief: A Journey to Healing and Moving Forward
In 2014, I lost my father—a loss that profoundly reshaped my perspective on life. This heart-wrenching experience became the catalyst for an introspective journey, forcing me to confront my ego and question the very essence of life’s purpose. Along the way, I realized that grief isn’t confined to the loss of a loved one; it’s a broader metaphor for life’s changes, from shifts in relationships to major transitions that challenge us to adapt and grow.
The Resilience of the Human Spirit
Grieving is deeply personal and profoundly transformative. It’s essential to give ourselves permission to feel and process our emotions without judgment. Grief manifests differently for everyone—some express it openly and loudly, while others retreat into quiet reflection. There’s no “right” way to grieve. Instead, it’s about honoring the human experience and finding the space to let emotions flow.
Setting Boundaries With Compassion
One practice that has helped me navigate grief is setting personal boundaries around my grieving process. For example, giving myself a timeline—not to suppress emotions but to create a gentle nudge toward moving forward. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to “get over it.” Instead, it’s about honoring the grief while also making space for healing and renewal. Boundaries can act as a bridge between the pain of loss and the promise of new beginnings.
Embracing Change as Growth
Change, though unsettling, is the gateway to growth. Loss often leaves us feeling unmoored, as if we’re suspended between what was and what could be. This "neutral zone" can feel uncomfortable, but it’s also where transformation happens. Visualizing the future and mentally rehearsing desired outcomes can help ease discomfort and foster a sense of readiness for the road ahead. Change doesn’t erase what was; it builds upon it, creating space for what’s next.
Finding Purpose in Service
When grief feels overwhelming, turning outward can be a powerful balm. Acts of service—whether small or grand—can ground us in purpose and connect us to others. It’s not about recognition or accolades; it’s about contributing positively in ways that feel meaningful to you. Service can remind us that even amid our pain, we have the power to make a difference.
Moving Forward With Intention
Grief is a universal experience, yet it often leaves us feeling isolated and unsure of how to navigate the overwhelming emotions it brings. The Kübler-Ross model provides a compassionate framework for understanding these emotions, offering insight not just into the grief of losing a loved one but also into the profound transitions we face in life—whether it’s the end of a relationship, a career change, or a health crisis. By exploring this model, we can better understand the stages of grief and discover practical tools to process our emotions, helping us move forward with greater resilience and clarity.
The Kübler-Ross model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a pioneer in the study of grief, through her groundbreaking work in understanding how humans cope with loss. The model outlines five distinct stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
These stages provide a lens through which we can explore the complexities of grief, helping us make sense of the emotional turbulence that often accompanies loss. However, grief is not a linear process. You may move through the stages in a different order, revisit certain stages, or experience them all at once. Each stage is unique to the individual and holds valuable lessons, offering opportunities for self-awareness, healing, and growth.
Denial: When Loss Feels Unreal
The first stage of grief is denial—a shock that shields us from the full weight of loss. I remember just hours after my father passed, signing the paperwork for his belongings and taking his jacket home. That night, I tried to fall asleep wrapped in his scent, convincing myself that he wasn’t truly gone. Everything happened so fast—between funeral logistics and holding the family together, I suppressed my emotions, acting strong for everyone, including my son.
It wasn’t until weeks later that the pain and anger began to surface.
Tools for Managing Shock:
- Allow yourself to sit with your emotions, free of judgment. This could mean writing in a journal or confiding in someone you trust.
- Practice grounding techniques. For me, spending time in nature provided space to breathe—not to suppress my pain, but to take breaks from the overwhelming weight of it all.
Anger: When the Pain Finds a Voice
Once I allowed myself to feel, pure anger surfaced. I was angry at my family for not calling me sooner, robbing me of a chance to say goodbye. I was angry at my ex-husband for prioritizing his work, leaving me to travel alone with our one-year-old to my father’s funeral. I was angry at life itself—it all felt so unfair.
Tools for Managing Anger:
- Channel your anger into something constructive. I began writing again, allowing my creativity to flow and soothe the turmoil inside.
- Journaling helped me release my anger. Emptying my mind of rage made room for healing to begin.
Bargaining: The 'What Ifs' and Guilt
Bargaining crept in as guilt and regret. I punished myself with thoughts like, “I should have let him drive my car,” or, “I should have told him I loved him more often.” It felt as though I needed to suffer to earn redemption. But over time, I realized this self-imposed punishment was a trap—it was guilt speaking, not truth.
Tools for Managing Guilt:
- Forgive yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.
- Remind yourself: If I went back in time, I would have done the same thing. Hindsight can be cruel, but it’s not the full picture.
- Write a letter to your loved one. Say all the things you never got to say, then light a candle, say a prayer, or create a personal ritual. Your loved ones are still with you, just in a different way.
Depression: The Darkness Before the Dawn
Even though my father and I had a complicated relationship, I was his princess, his pride and joy. His absence left a void so deep that nothing seemed to matter anymore. I felt lost, lonely, and untethered. But looking back, I realize this wasn’t depression in the clinical sense—it was a spiritual awakening. I began to yearn for a life of authenticity, purpose, and meaning. To reach that place, I had to walk through the darkness and let go of the barriers keeping me from living fully.
Tools for Managing Depression:
- Give your body what it needs: rest, nourishment, and patience as it adjusts to the change.
- Resist the urge to isolate. Surround yourself with people who hold space for you—without judgment or advice, but with empathy.
- Discipline, not motivation, is key. Establish a simple routine and stick to it, no matter how mundane. This structure becomes a foundation for healing.
Acceptance: Finding Peace and Rebirth
It took me years to find peace in a world without my father. Over time, I learned to connect with him in new ways—his presence lingers in my memories, in moments of stillness, and in my heart. Losing him taught me that our loved ones don’t truly leave us; they remain with us in ways we can feel, not see. His passing became the catalyst for my rebirth, teaching me to appreciate life’s fragility and embrace its depth.
The journey began in pain, but it led to freedom, peace, and gratitude. If I had to go through it all again, I would—because it shaped me into the person I am today.
Tools for Moving Forward:
- Inject new energy into your life—not to replace the void, but to add color and vibrancy when you’re ready. Start a new hobby or revisit an old passion.
- Ground yourself in the present. So much of our suffering lives in our minds, shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. Mindfulness anchors us in the reality of the here and now.
Grief is not a linear process, and there’s no timeline for healing. Some days the waves will be calm, and other days they’ll crash over you without warning. This is not failure—it’s life.
Wherever you are on this journey, know that you’re not alone. Take small steps, give yourself grace, and trust that healing will come, even if it looks different than you imagined.
Together, we can learn to carry our grief with resilience, embracing life’s moments with a renewed sense of appreciation and purpose.
Soulful Moment
“Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people.” - Orson Scott Card, Shadow of the Giant
I used to look for you where you were.
No matter how hard I tried, how much I cried,
You were nowhere to be found.
Filled with anger and this void,
I wondered why God took you away.
I had so much to say, so much to give—
So much to say I am so sorry
But did not know how to.
Then one day, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
And there you were, mighty and powerful in all your grace.
You kissed me on the forehead and said,
"Oh, silly girl, don't you see that I am at peace? All is well.
You waste so much time in regret and shame,
for the ego keeps you in suffering and blame.
Here where I am, there is only love and nothing else.
Live life, my dear princess, live life with love and grace.
At the end of the day, what matters mostIs how you felt and made others feel while you were alive.
Remember, when you think of me, think love and peace.
That's all I know now, and so will you when you remember me through your soul, not your ego."
EQ Vitamins for Moving Forward After Grief and Loss
Just as we take vitamins to optimize our physical health, these EQ vitamins are designed to nurture your emotional well-being. They’re here to guide you as you navigate grief and loss, helping you find balance between cherishing memories and embracing the present moment.
1. Self-Compassion
"Grief is not linear—give yourself permission to feel without judgment."
It’s okay to feel all your emotions—whether they come all at once or in small, unexpected waves. Only you know what feels right for you. Be kind to your heart, and release any judgment. There’s no manual for grieving. It’s a deeply personal process, and you’re allowed to take it at your own pace.
2. Emotional Awareness
"Name the emotions you’re feeling—it’s the first step toward healing."
Our emotions are like the GPS on a sailing boat, guiding us through life’s storms. Every emotion carries a message—tune in and listen. That message could hold the key to your inner peace and freedom. Naming what you feel is the first step toward processing and healing.
3. Resilience Through Reflection
"Grief changes you—reflect on the strength you’ve shown so far."
Take time to look inward and honor how far you’ve come. Think of the silent battles you’ve fought and the moments of resilience no one else saw. Be proud of yourself. What was meant to break you has made you stronger, and your journey is a testament to your courage.
4. Connection and Support
"You don’t have to navigate this alone—lean on those who care."
Even when we feel isolated, we are never truly alone. Support can come from unexpected places if you allow yourself to be open. Let others in, and lean on the strength of community. Life’s journey becomes more meaningful when we walk it together.
5. Mindful Presence
"Anchor yourself in the present—take it one breath at a time."
Grief can feel like a tidal wave, throwing us off balance and uprooting our sense of stability. Remember to anchor yourself in the here and now. With each breath, remind yourself that while the waves may crash, you are the ocean—vast, steady, and capable of holding it all.
6. Gratitude Amid Pain
"Honor what you’ve lost by cherishing what remains."
Loss is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t diminish the love we’ve shared. Life is not about holding on; it’s about fully experiencing the moments we’re given. Focus on the love rather than the pain. Cherish the people and memories that remain, for they carry the legacy of what’s been lost.
7. Permission to Find Joy
"Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making space for joy again."
Allow yourself to feel happiness after grief. Joy and sadness are not opposites—they coexist on the spectrum of our human experience. By welcoming joy, you honor the life you’re still living and the love that continues to surround you. Your loved ones would want you to find peace and carry them with you in your heart.
Looking Ahead & Stay Connected
Thank you for being part of this community. I hope today’s reflections offered comfort and helped you take another step forward in your healing journey. Next week, I’ll share my story of overcoming one of the biggest silent killers we face in both the workplace and our daily lives: chronic stress—and how to live a life free of it.
I’d love to hear from you. How do you navigate grief and loss? What has helped you, and what hasn’t? Share your experiences in the comments below—let’s learn and inspire one another.
With love and gratitude,
Nadja đź’™ đź’ś đź’—
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