The Invitation to Heal

My son has always been one of my greatest teachers. As he grew older and began asserting his independence, he had a knack for doing exactly the opposite of what I asked. His defiance triggered powerful emotions in me—frustration, anger, even helplessness.

At first, I thought his behavior was the issue. But over time, I realized these triggers weren’t just about him—they were pointing to deeper wounds within me, wounds I hadn’t yet faced.

Growing up, I was taught to suppress my emotions, especially anger. I learned that anger was "bad," and expressing it made me less lovable. So, I buried it deep inside, unaware of the toll it was taking on my body and mind.

But watching my son express his emotions freely—his joy and frustration flowing with equal intensity—made me confront my own discomfort with anger. His unfiltered expression showed me how much I had suppressed within myself, and I began to understand that anger wasn’t the problem. It was my relationship with it.

This realization marked the beginning of my healing journey.

I started experimenting with creative ways to release my pent-up emotions—writing, journaling, dancing, and walking in nature. Slowly but surely, I began to feel lighter, freer.

Instead of resisting my emotions, I learned to welcome them as part of my humanity. I stopped seeing them as something to be “fixed” and started embracing them as opportunities for growth.

Our triggers are not our enemies—they are our teachers, inviting us to heal.

This week’s EQ Oasis Newsletter is dedicated to turning those emotional triggers into triumphs. Together, let’s explore how to stop running from emotional pain and start transforming it into purpose and power.

The Cost of Suppressed Emotions

Suppressing emotions is like bottling up soda and shaking it. Eventually, the pressure builds, and when the bottle is opened, it explodes.

Our bodies are no different. When we resist emotions, they don’t disappear—they build up and manifest as stress, anxiety, burnout, or even physical illness.

For years, I ignored my emotions, convinced I was "fine." But during a severe burnout, my body forced me to stop and listen. The unprocessed emotions I had buried for decades came rushing to the surface.

That experience taught me a powerful lesson:

Our emotions will always find a way to be heard. The more we resist them, the louder they get.

Embracing Emotional Pain: My Journey

For much of my life, I believed in emotional duality—“good” emotions like happiness and love were welcome, while “bad” emotions like anger and sadness were to be avoided.

But this black-and-white thinking only deepened my suffering.

True healing began when I started embracing all of my emotions, without judgment. I stopped labeling them as “good” or “bad” and started seeing them as messengers, each carrying valuable insights about my inner world.

Here are the steps that helped me shift from resisting my emotions to embracing them:

1. Acknowledging My Triggers

   Instead of blaming external circumstances or people for my reactions, I started looking inward. Each trigger became an invitation to explore what unresolved pain it was pointing to.

2. Releasing Through Creativity

   Journaling, dancing, and walking in nature became my lifelines. They gave me a safe outlet to process and release emotions without judgment.

3. Changing My Narrative

   I realized that many of my triggers were tied to old stories I was telling myself—stories of unworthiness, rejection, or failure. By rewriting these narratives, I reclaimed my power.

4. Practicing Heart Coherence

   Heart-focused breathing exercises helped me move from anxiety and fear to clarity and calm. These moments of coherence became a sanctuary for my healing.

From Reaction to Resilience: The Soda Bottle Metaphor

Imagine holding two bottles: one filled with water, the other with soda.

• If you shake the soda bottle and open it, it explodes.
• If you shake the water bottle, it remains calm when opened.

Triggers work the same way. When we carry unresolved emotional wounds, we react like soda—explosive and volatile. But when we’ve processed and healed those wounds, we respond like water—calm, steady, and unshakeable.

The goal isn’t to never feel triggered—it’s to transform how we respond.

Practical Tools for Turning Triggers into Triumphs

1. Journaling

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process and release them. Start with prompts like:

• What am I feeling right now?
• What does this trigger remind me of?
• What unmet need or boundary is this revealing?

2. Emotional Expression

Movement is a powerful way to process emotions. Whether it’s dancing, exercising, or simply crying, let your emotions move through you instead of staying stuck.

3. Mindful Reflection

When you feel triggered, pause and ask yourself:

• What story am I telling myself about this situation?
• Is this story rooted in reality or old fears?

4. Setting Boundaries

Triggers often reveal where our boundaries have been crossed. Use these moments as opportunities to communicate your needs and protect your peace.

5. Heart Coherence Practices

Spend 5 minutes each day focusing on your heart. Breathe deeply, imagine a feeling of gratitude or love, and let that feeling radiate through your body.

How to Set Boundaries for Emotional Freedom

"The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none."

Boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out—they’re bridges that allow healthy connections while protecting your emotional well-being.

Here’s how to start:

1. Know Your Needs

   Reflect on what drains your energy and what fills you up. Boundaries should protect your energy, not isolate you.

2. Communicate Clearly

   Be assertive but kind when expressing your boundaries. For example:

   • “I need time to recharge after work, so I won’t be available in the evenings.”
   • “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic right now.”

3. Say No Without Guilt

   Remember, saying no to others is saying yes to yourself.

4. Honor Your Boundaries

   Consistency is key. Don’t let guilt or fear of rejection make you abandon the boundaries you’ve set.

Your Weekly Poem: Feel to Heal

Your emotions are not enemies,

but messengers calling you home.

Feel their whispers and their storms—

they are guideposts, not tombstones.

What you resist will only persist,

a shadow that grows in the dark.

But when you turn to face it fully,

it softens, leaving its mark.

Feel the anger, feel the pain,

let it move through your veins.

Feel the joy, feel the love,

let them lift you high above.

For healing isn’t about running away—

it’s about staying, breathing, being.

In the heart of your emotions,

you’ll find the light of your true seeing.

Your EQ Vitamins: Turning Pain into Power

This week’s EQ Vitamins are designed to help you embrace your emotions and transform triggers into opportunities for growth.

1. Awareness

EQ Vitamin: "Triggers are teachers. When I became aware of my triggers, I began to heal."

Affirmation: "I welcome my triggers as invitations to grow and heal."

2. Compassion

EQ Vitamin: "Compassion toward myself allows me to process my emotions without judgment."

Affirmation: "I offer myself the same kindness I would offer a dear friend."

3. Resilience

EQ Vitamin: "Each time I face a trigger, I grow stronger and more resilient."

Affirmation: "I am resilient. Every challenge I face helps me grow."

Looking Ahead

Next week, we’ll explore the theme of “Breaking Free from the Chains of Perfectionism.”

If you’re ready to deepen your journey, I invite you to join the EQ Oasis community—a safe space for healing, growth, and connection.

Let this week’s reflections remind you that you are not your triggers—you are the light that shines through them.

With love & gratitude,

Nadja

P.S. For a gentle start to your emotional resilience journey, check out my 6-Day Inner Peace Challenge. It’s free and full of simple practices to help you reconnect with your true self. 💜