We often talk about women breaking glass ceilings, but what about the brick walls placed in our paths?
This isn’t exclusive to women. Men, too, encounter harm from jealousy and envious behavior in the workplace. It’s not about gender—it’s about human dynamics, emotional intelligence, and the challenges that arise when egos clash in professional spaces.
Jealousy in the workplace isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a team and organizational challenge.
“Research demonstrates that when people are envious, they are less willing to share information and are more likely to engage in sabotage and socially undermining behaviors. They often refrain from helping others, are less open with their team, and disengage from their work, leading to a decline in performance.” (Source)
Jealousy sneaks in quietly, disguised as resentment or envy, especially when we see others achieving something we deeply desire—whether it’s a promotion, recognition, or an opportunity.
Defined by the Merriam-Webster and Cambridge English Dictionary as both a zealous protectiveness and a state of discontent, jealousy is a layered emotion. It can stem from the fear of losing what we value or the longing for what others have.
But here’s the silver lining: when we understand jealousy, we can transform it from a destructive force into a tool for self-reflection and personal growth.
Jealousy is universal. We all feel it—especially about the things that matter most to us. I’ve encountered jealousy in both personal and professional settings, and today, I want to share a particularly tough yet transformative experience with workplace jealousy.
This week’s EQ Oasis Theme focuses on using emotional intelligence to navigate jealousy in the workplace before it becomes toxic.
Navigating Jealousy with Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
It still feels like yesterday:
I was one year into my role as Senior Executive Stakeholder Coordinator in the office of the General Manager at NATO—a high-visibility position where I worked closely with senior stakeholders. It was a role filled with opportunities, but it also placed me squarely in the spotlight. And when you shine too brightly, you attract attention—not all of it good.
“A woman from a minority background who used to be a secretary now working in such a high-profile role? That’s not fair—it should have been us!” I imagine they thought.
There were whispers. Undermining remarks. Calculated attempts to discredit me.
One afternoon, a group of colleagues—men who felt entitled to my position—decided to throw me under the bus. Before a major meeting, they shifted blame for a mistake onto me. By the time I walked into the room, I was already on trial.
The General Manager turned to me, disappointment evident in his voice:
“Nadja, what do you have to say for yourself? How could you let this happen?”
My first reaction? I was gutted. My heart raced, my face flushed, and I felt anger boiling beneath the surface. I excused myself, walked to the restroom, and let out a few quiet tears—not of fear, but of frustration.
Once the emotion passed, I looked in the mirror and said:
“Let them underestimate you. Watch how you rise.”
I walked back into the meeting with calm clarity. When the General Manager asked for my response, I didn’t defend myself or point fingers. Instead, I calmly presented the facts:
- I outlined the situation, providing clear evidence.
- I reframed the problem with a proposed solution.
- I let my integrity and preparation speak louder than any accusation.
The truth was evident by the end of the meeting. The men who had plotted against me shrank into silence.
That day, I earned the General Manager’s trust and became his key advisor.
But here’s the thing: the jealousy didn’t stop. It festered. The toxicity of that environment eventually drained me, and I realized something important:
Resilience is essential, but so is knowing when to walk away.
Workplace jealousy is not just a personal challenge—it’s a systemic one. And while we can’t always change the culture around us, we can change how we navigate it.
Emotional Intelligence Strategies for Navigating Jealousy at Work
Here are six strategies I’ve developed over the years to handle jealousy in the workplace with grace and confidence:
