I was doing my thing, walking toward the big entry doors of NATO HQ, trying to find my way to my new office. We had just moved into the glass palace. It was stunning, but at first, my sense of direction inside it was a little blurry.

All of a sudden, I could feel her walking next to me—one of the senior women on the leadership team. She was known for being outspoken, and out of nowhere, she started lecturing me.

Like… I hadn’t even had my coffee yet to process what she was saying.

I still remember her words like it was yesterday:

“Nadja, you are never going to make a career here. If I were you, I’d look for another job. You’re doing things way above your grade, and it’s intimidating a lot of people.”

And she didn’t stop there.

At the time, I didn’t fully realize what was happening. The only person I was intimidating in that moment was her. Even though I never pretended to be anyone but myself, she felt threatened by what I was doing.

Her words stuck with me. They kept swirling in my mind, and I couldn’t shake them. Why? Because she wasn’t just anyone. She was one of the closest advisors to the big boss. If she thought this way about me, what chance did I have?

This scenario wasn’t new—it repeated itself throughout my career. It came in different shapes and forms, but it always showed up when I began to rise, when I continued to prove myself, and when I refused to let myself be boxed in.

The Mask We Wear

I know many women can relate to this. Whether it’s the burdens and injustices dealt by men or women, you might feel tired and exhausted of putting on the mask.

That mask you wear to pretend you’re enough. The mask that keeps you working harder, pleasing more, and doing more—just to get the bare minimum in return.

I wore that mask for far too long, until one day, I hit the floor. I was exhausted. Exhausted from pretending, pleasing, and over-performing.

So how did I end up there?

This edition is about how to stop outsourcing your validation as a woman, reclaim your power, and step into the greatness that has always been within you.

It’s not an easy journey. The path will feel lonely and scary at first. But once you embrace it, the freedom you’ll feel from stepping into your most authentic self is pure bliss.

She Needs You, Now More Than Ever

Before we dive into practical steps and strategies, I want to share why I wore the mask. Why I tried so hard to feel loved, seen, and like I belonged.

When we are born, we are perfect. We don’t feel unworthy of love, warmth, or connection. But as we grow, life happens. The people who love us the most, the kids who don’t know any better, and the society around us begin to shape how we see ourselves.

For me, that shaping began with a defining moment when I was six years old. I was sexually abused by a family friend.

That moment left a scar so deep it dictated how I felt about myself for decades.

Unworthy.

That’s when I started wearing the mask. Pretending to be someone worthy of love, acceptance, and belonging.

Growing up in a society with two opposing cultures didn’t help either. No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I never felt like I fit in.

Becoming the Parent You Needed

For years, I neglected her. My younger self. I suppressed her needs, ignored her voice, and told her the same lies others had told me:

• That she wasn’t enough.
• That she couldn’t be herself.
• That she was too much, too dreamy, and not good enough as she was.

For years, she cried in silence, sabotaging and suffering every time I tried to step out of my comfort zone—whether it was building my career or forming new relationships.

She was scared. Scared of being abandoned, rejected, or hurt again. And I failed her.

As adults, we must become the parent our inner child never had. This isn’t about blaming or shaming our parents—they did the best they could with what they had. Parenting is hard. I admire my mother for raising five children and a stepson, while I find it challenging with just one child.

We can’t change the past. We can’t change what happened to us.

But we can change how we view what happened.

We can let go by forgiving the past, forgiving those who hurt us, and most importantly—forgiving ourselves.

If you’re already a paid subscriber, dive deeper into how to reclaim your power, access your full HERO’s journey guide, and explore Nadja’s personal HERO story to inspire you to write yours. Not subscribed yet? Subscribe now!