Last week, I had brunch with a friend, and it absolutely made my day. Anyone who knows me knows that delicious food is one of the three foundational pillars of my happiness. Sharing that food with someone you connect with on a deeper level? That’s double the bliss!
As we left, my friend asked about my plans for Christmas. I paused and smiled—because for the first time in a long time, I have no idea. And I’m completely at peace with that.
This year, my son will spend the holidays with his family, and I’ll be diving into my passion projects. Writing and creating videos will likely be a big theme, I told them.
My friend laughed and remarked, “It seems like you enjoy your own company.” I couldn’t help but laugh too—it’s true. So much so that I’ve had to nudge myself out of my comfort zone to start dating again!
This month marks two years since I began my LinkedIn Inner Peace newsletter, now called Heal with EQ.
Exactly two years ago, I wrote a deeply personal piece about navigating the holidays alone. Writing it felt vulnerable then, and it still does now. For much of my life—whether single or married—the holidays brought a deep sense of loneliness, a void that seemed to grow during this time of year.
I know I’m not alone in this. For some, the holidays are filled with joy and celebration. For others, they’re a painful reminder of loss, disconnection, or unmet expectations.
Today, I want to share my journey—how I’ve navigated loneliness, embraced being alone, and come to experience the holiday season with complete inner peace.
My hope is that for those who resonate, this reflection helps you understand the difference between feeling lonely and being alone—and inspires you to find peace and happiness where you least expect it.
Alone, But Not Always Lonely
Recently, I came across the title of a book in a movie: Alone, But Not Always Lonely. It struck me deeply because it speaks to a shared human experience.
We’ve all felt lonely at some point—whether single, in a relationship, surrounded by people, or completely alone. Loneliness doesn’t depend on our circumstances but on how connected we feel—to the world, others, and ourselves.
But just as disconnection is natural, so is connection. Both are part of the human experience.
Being alone is about learning to be okay with your own company. It’s about loving yourself enough not to run from your thoughts or emotions when you’re by yourself.
This understanding is something I teach my son. He sometimes believes that when I express anger or discipline him, I don’t love him. I remind him that I may not like his behavior in the moment, but I will always love him.
The same principle applies to us. We can love ourselves—flaws, shadows, and all. To be human is to be imperfect, and the more we accept this, the more comfortable we become with solitude.
As Carl Jung once said, embracing our shadow self—the parts of us we’d rather hide—is essential for growth. The more we integrate these hidden parts, the less lonely we feel, even in solitude.
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The Beauty of Vulnerability
Loneliness will still visit us from time to time—and that’s okay. Embracing those vulnerable moments is part of what makes us beautifully human.
I still cry occasionally when I feel lonely, especially during challenging times. But I’ve learned to let those emotions flow freely, without judgment. Once I do, I feel renewed strength and a sense of grace.
Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s courage. Allowing yourself to feel and process loneliness is what ultimately leads to inner peace.
Three Key Mindset Shifts to Embrace Solitude
1. You Are Whole, With or Without Romance
Society often tells us that romantic relationships are the ultimate goal. But relationships are more than just romance.
You are already in relationships—with yourself, your friends, your family, your work, and even nature.
Mantra: “I am whole, with or without romance.”
2. You Are the Sun, Not the Planets
Instead of outsourcing your happiness to external people or circumstances, ignite your own light. Be the sun, not the planet orbiting someone else’s energy.
Mantra: “I am the sun, and my light is infinite.”
3. Close the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Think You Should Be
Stop focusing on what’s missing or comparing your life to others’. The key to peace is finding joy in the present.
Mantra: “I am complete in this moment.”
Practical Steps to Embrace Solitude
- Start a Daily Reflection Practice: Spend 5-10 minutes journaling your thoughts and emotions. Write about what you’re grateful for and what you’ve learned from moments of discomfort.
- Create Rituals That Bring You Joy: Whether it’s brewing your morning coffee, lighting a candle, or taking a walk in nature, find small acts that nurture your soul.
- Set Boundaries: Protect your energy by saying no to relationships or activities that drain you. Solitude is a powerful way to recharge and realign with yourself.
- Explore Your Inner World: Read, meditate, or try new hobbies that spark curiosity and self-discovery.
Final Reflection: Your Heart Is Your Home
No matter where you are or who you’re with, your heart is your eternal sanctuary. It’s where you find safety, peace, and unconditional love.
When loneliness arises, go within. Connect to your heart space and remind yourself that you are never truly alone.
Mantra: “My heart is my home, and I am always safe.”
Looking Ahead & Stay Connected
Next week, we’ll explore the power of gratitude in navigating life’s storms. Gratitude is not just for the good times—it’s a tool to transform even our darkest moments.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this week’s reflection. How do you navigate loneliness or find peace in solitude? Let’s inspire each other in the comments below.
With love and gratitude,
Nadja
P.S. If you’re ready, Heal with EQ awaits you! An oasis of emotional intelligence and resiliency to help you build a life you love.
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