Turning Envy into Empowerment: Navigating Jealousy with Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

We often talk about women having to break glass ceiling, but we don't talk enough about the brick walls that are put on our path. At least for some of us. And this is not only related to women by the way, men too experience harm from people who display jealousy and envious behaviour.

“Research demonstrates when people are envious, they are less willing to share information and become more likely to engage in sabotage and socially undermining behaviours. They often refrain from helping others, are less open with the team and disengage from their work, leading to a decline in performance.” (Source)

Jealousy often enters quietly, cloaked as resentment or envy, when we see others with something we deeply desire—whether it’s a relationship, achievement, or opportunity.

Defined in the Merriam-Webster and Cambridge English Dictionary as both a zealous protectiveness and a state of discontent, jealousy is complex and layered, often arising when we fear losing what we value or long for what others have. Yet, by understanding these layers, we can begin to transform jealousy from a destructive emotion into a powerful opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.

Jealousy is universal; we all feel it, especially about the things that matter most to us. I’ve encountered jealousy in both my personal life and professional settings. Today, I’ll share my experiences with workplace jealousy—a force that once grew so toxic, I had no choice but to walk away. Next week, we’ll explore jealousy in personal relationships, and I’ll share strategies to manage it before it becomes harmful.

Because, let’s be honest—jealousy is part of being human. Our job is not to eliminate it but to channel it constructively so it doesn’t harm others or ourselves.

This week’s EQ Oasis Theme focuses on just that: using emotional intelligence tools to navigate jealousy in the workplace before it becomes toxic.

Navigating Jealousy with Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

It still feels like yesterday when I recall a particular incident from almost a decade ago. I was about a year into my position as Senior Executive Stakeholder Coordinator in the office of the General Manager—a high-visibility role that involved engaging with senior NATO stakeholders. You can imagine the wolves in sheep’s clothing around me, waiting for their chance to see me fail in this position.

“A woman who used to be a secretary, a woman from a minority background, and one who speaks her mind—that’s not fair; it should have been us!” I imagine they thought.

At that time, I didn’t yet have all the tools I needed to become an ethical “shark” myself. In a small pond, even if you’re a goldfish, the sharks will come if you don’t develop the resilience to swim with strength. But the most inspiring sharks are the ones who swim with integrity, lifting others up without harming them.

I remember finding out that a group of men had thrown me under the bus right before a big meeting. That afternoon, I was called in to explain myself and was blamed for mistakes they had strategically pinned on me.

When people team up against you, it’s a reminder of how strong you are on your own. Let that sink in.

I went to the bathroom and cried—not from fear but to release the emotion so I could think clearly. If I had suppressed it, I would have spoken from a biased, cluttered perspective.

Emotions are just energy in motion, and letting them flow was exactly what I needed.

Once I felt calm and clear, I straightened up, looked in the mirror, and told myself: “I’ll show them who I am. Watch me.”

In the meeting room, the men who had thrown me under the bus acted as though nothing happened. Sometimes, letting others believe you’re a fool is the smartest move. I played along, letting them go first. They stumbled through their presentation with nerves, offering plenty of information but little substance.

Then the big boss looked at me and asked, “Nadja, what do you have to say for yourself? How could you let this happen?”

Instead of defending myself, which would have only made me look guilty or insecure, I calmly thanked him for the opportunity to clarify. I presented the situation clearly, laying out the facts, data, and a recommended path forward without once blaming the others. By the time I finished, the truth was evident, and the men shrank with embarrassment.

After that meeting, I earned the boss’s trust and became his main advisor. Walking out, I gave my colleagues a look that said, “Don’t try that again, or you’ll find yourself even smaller next time.”

As time passed, however, the jealousy and envy only grew, making it exhausting to continue. Balancing toxic office politics, raising my son, and studying part-time took its toll. Eventually, my body said, “Enough.” It was time to realign with work that made me feel alive, not just what helped me survive.

If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to stand in her power, use her EQ tools to thrive, and always put her mental health first. Never let anyone dictate your self-worth. That’s what I’m sharing with you today.